Journal
Page 1

I write short journal entries about everything and nothing, unedited and raw. They're collected here.

It’s getting hot in Stockholm, there’s no need to bring a jacket when heading out. I’m not a big fan of the heat, nor being in a city when the temperatures go up, but it’s fine for now. Last summer was horrible though, the studio was ridiculously warm. There are photos of me shooting for the Divide & Conquer website in… scant clothing. I guess that’s some kind of team buiding right there.

I wrote a lot of words yesterday, over 7,000 of them in fact. A manuscript got wrapped, brain degraded into mush, and I took the evening off. Today has been slow, as expected, nurturing a writing hangover if you will. It take a lot out of you when you dive down the hole and decide to finish something like that, and you can’t expect to be fully functional for some time after.

Wrapped manuscript treats

Ass, meet chair. You’ll be spending some quality time together today, as you weren’t on the best of terms yesterday, unfortunately. Remember kids, being a writer sucks. It’s like having homework all the time!

It’s been a while, but today I’ve managed to spend the morning reading, nurturing a cup of coffee. It’s a nice weekend ritual that I’ve had to neglect the past couple of weeks. I’ve missed it. Over and done with now though, the rest of the day is dedicated to writing and editing words. Enjoy your Saturday.

There’s a lot going on right now, so much that I, apparently, forgot to publish yesterday’s journal entry. That’s not a first, but I haven’t missed many days since starting this thing. Since I live and breathe by my todo lists, that’s where the snafu happened: I checked my journal reminder as done by accident. It is the only logical explanation for the lack of update yesterday. And again, thanks to those of you who got in touch, it never ceases to amaze me.

I have no intention of stopping writing these things, but I am toying with the format. Right now my idea of what the journal – a flawed nomenclature in itself – entries should be, or at least something that could supplement them, is today. We’ll see where that thought lands, if it ever does. Enjoy your weekend, I’ll see you bright and early at the crack of noon tomorrow, as usual.

It’s important to listen to your body. If all you want is sleep, and you can do that, then that’s probably a good idea. There are obviously times when that either isn’t possible, or you have other issues that you should deal with and sleep, in that particular case, is just a symptom. Your body will do its best not to lie to you, most of the time. This is why I said fuck it (I didn’t, really), turned off my alarm, and slept for another three hours this morning. I’ve yet to leave the apartment. This will make my todos stack up even more, which is hilarious given how yesterday didn’t go according to plan, but it also means that I feel somewhat rested and ready to deal with the day. I’ll take that deal, thank you very much.

This day didn’t turn out like I planned at all. I guess that’s fine. At least I got a haircut, that has to count for something, right?

I can’t say I’m starting this week well rested. It’s been a rough weekend, and the todo list said I hade 43 things to do today. It’s down to 23, thanks to rescheduling and a busy morning, but that obviously won’t hold up. Better get this week under control, then.

I try to live a positive life. Avoid being negative, don’t bog down the room with my mood if it’s gloomy or sad. I find it’s easier to be happy, or at least feel okay, if you act like you are. It’s not a lie, or an act, it’s just better for everyone. Until it isn’t, of course. Then you need to get help. I’ve known people that waited too long, where the facade was more important than dealing with the reason it existed in the first place. Some of them aren’t with us anymore, others are doing just fine, now. I’ve lost touch with most of them. That’s fine, it happens. They’re all a reminder to me, when things are getting dark, that a lot of the things you feel aren’t real, they’ve just built up and you can’t see them for what they really are. Unless they are what you see, in which case you need help. I wish more people got help.

Late night wine drinking with friends and siblings, I’m feeling it a bit this morning. Or maybe it’s the week, because that sure was an eventful one to say the least. Stockholm is bathing in sun, so I’m grabbing breakfast out on the town somewhere. Mammoth egg sandwich and coffee sounds about right.